thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
[personal profile] thereyougothen
I'm not really sure why, but I'm really struggling with anxiety right now. It takes very little to set me off, in fact, it can take nothing. We were getting ready to go out at the weekend to the park, and had to wait until I'd stopped panicking. Nothing major, just a few minutes of anxiety, but when it starts to happen every few days it worries me. I haven't had full blown panic attacks in years - almost 10 years. I have had times like this though, when I just feel shaky. I know that when I get depressed it shows up as anxiety. Or is it the other way round? I also know that the honeymoon period with Santiago might be ending, and the reality is sinking in, and hey ho, who woulnd't be anxious. But I don't like it.

Never mind - enough about that, Bill has built the boys a swingset, so we are having a party to celebrate it this weekend. That's a perfectly normal reaction to having a new swingset, isn't it? Having a party? Yes, I thought so.

Tell me you could have that in your garden and *not* have a party?

We had been looking and looking for swingsets, and had almost, but not quite convinced ourselves that we would just cough the $700.000 to buy a good one. But didn't. And then there was an email on the international assoc. list. A family who were leaving were selling off stuff, including a swingset kit that their landlords wouldn't let them put up (we haven't bothered asking!). They were asking $100US for it. We went to see, and in speaking to the woman learned that they had only been here 5 months, and her husband's job contract got cancelled. Back home they were going, they had expected to be here for three years. We didn't even try to haggle over the price, I just felt so awful for them.

And went home to be grateful again for fully funded telescopes and 3 year extendable contracts with international organisations.

Damn, I've depressed myself again. I need something cheerful...

There. That's better.

Date: 2009-04-02 01:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
:) I love the swingset. So jealous!

Date: 2009-04-02 09:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My god, Tom and Nico are getting big! I hope we get to see you when you're next over. I feel rotten I wasn't able to be around more during your treatment. Last year was a nightmare for me mental healthwise.

I hope your anxiety settles down. Do you find practical things help it? One thing I've tried in similar situations (when I first moved to Edinburgh) was to write a list of the pros and cons of living in the new place. I know for myself it's becoming familiar with a place *and* making new friends and networking. Knitting group really helped with that.

Look after yourself hun.. I love hearing about the things you get up to there :)

Date: 2009-04-02 09:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

kitty belly! I want one!! (ahem).

Date: 2009-04-02 09:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm struggling with anxiety myself at the moment, so big hugs on that front. I don't know if it's Gabriel & his behaviour causing me to feel that way, or whether I feel like that anyway and he's just the excuse.
Anyway you have been through a lot, so you're entitled to be a bit wibbly!

Date: 2009-04-02 12:48 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Thanks for the comment you left me. I'm joining you on the nervous wreck front, I'm just in a state of panic all the time and I haven't been like that in years.

I wish I could go to a swing set party. I can't think of anything nicer.

Sal x

Date: 2009-04-02 12:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Spend more time on LJ! Usually helps me when I'm feeling anxious. Spend some time in a 'help' community, helping. Very empowering. :-)


Totally awesome swing set. Mucho envy.

Date: 2009-04-02 07:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This is a wonderfully calming thing to look at.

The swingset looks fantastic, and if I had something like that in my garden then I'd want to celebrate it too.

Chile? I'd forgotten!

Date: 2009-04-13 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] (from
Hey Alison

you kindly commented on my blog the other month/year and i meant to get back to you and totally like spaced it out man...!

i hope you are having a great time in Chile and that you can find a moment to allow me access to your Flickr wedding set so i can write about it - i talk about it often to people as a great example of how relaxed and fun a wedding really can be and it would be good to show it too xxx

Sta Luego


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