May. 8th, 2009 10:19 am
thereyougothen: (Default)
Half an hour ago there was a 5.4 earthquake about 100 miles away. It lasted about a minute. I didn't notice it.

This is normal. I have only noticed 1 tremor the whole time we've been here, and it was when we were staying in the flat. Either I'm totally un-sensitive, or this house is built like a rock.

But, I@m getting a little tired of being the only one who doesn't notice. meep.
thereyougothen: (Default)
...looks like this:


I got dragged away from a really nice get together this morning by a call from the school. I was needing to leave soon anyway to go home and catch the kittens to take them to the vet to get neutered, but still...

Nico had fallen from the monkey bars and hit his head. He seemed fine, hadn't lost consciousness, and was resting in the nurses station. So I head up to school to get him. He's happy to see me, and ready to go. He gets up, walks just fine, no dizzyness, his head only hurt if you touched the lump on the back of it. We went and got his rucksack, spoke to the teacher, and left the school.

He seemed fine to me, but since the school has an insurance policy with the local clinic, we might as well go and get him checked over, since it's free (hah, still not used to it *not* being free!). The last time he had a head injury was when a loift door sent him flying in the National Museum, and we went to the sick kids then, so I figured we might as well this time too.

We got to the car and he was cheerful and chatty, he called his dad and told him all about it. Given all that, I decided we could pop home, snare the kittens and take them to their appointment with the surgeon before taking N to the clinic.

So, cats caught, deposited at vets, some Spanish spoken at the vets, and then a lot of English when the Vet who speaks English came out, and N and I head for the clinic.

Where after not too long we are seen. He didn't want his blood pressure checked, in case they took all his blood, but after a little persuasion he relented. Then we waited to see a doctor. Pupils were checked for responsiveness, his reflexes checked with the little hammer, and we were sent off to have his head examined, I mean x-rayed.

Then we went back to the exam room, and waited, and waited. And watched some youtube videos on my ipod. Finally, the doctor came back, and told us his head looked fine, there was no fracture. But then he started telling me about all the dangers that can come from head trauma, and the signs i needed to look for, in case his brain started to swell, in 4 stages:

1: Headache and Dizziness
2. Nausea & Vomiting
3. Seizures
4. Unconsciousness

OK, I can do that. *THEN* he tells me to take him home and put him to bed for 24 hours with *no visual stimulation at all*, no TV, no computer, not even reading a book. Then in 24 hours, while he still needed to be in bed, he could have "his computer or his television in his bedroom" (what planet this doctor lives on I'm not sure). If he was ok, he could go back to school on Friday. And he's not to play any sports for a week. He then gave me a slip of paper with all this written down, and asked me eleventy billion times if I understood. I just looked at him and said "He's 5 years old!" to which the Dr replied, yes,and a very intelligent 5 years old, so don't let him read a book. Oh, and I could only give him bland food. In case his food made him sick and we didn't know if it was the head injury or the food. The quack was speaking spanglish all this time, by the way.

So... I smiled and nodded and we made good our escape.

Came home and I tried to make N a quesadilla while ranting to Bill on the phone about the quack, so I burned it. So I made him a cheese toastie. Then we raced to school to collect Thomas. And while we were waiting, I took scientific poll of all the other mothers on whether the Dr was totally full of shit, while N raced around, jumped off picnic tables, rolled around on the grass and generally behaved like a 5 year old who had had the afternoon off school.

Then Nico took me and Thomas to his playground to show us where it happened, and what he was doing at the time. Then we came home, and after Thomas did his homework, we watched TV. Spongebob. Which is probably the worst in terms of visual stimulation (for me at least).

So, did I do the right thing?
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
I'm not really sure why, but I'm really struggling with anxiety right now. It takes very little to set me off, in fact, it can take nothing. We were getting ready to go out at the weekend to the park, and had to wait until I'd stopped panicking. Nothing major, just a few minutes of anxiety, but when it starts to happen every few days it worries me. I haven't had full blown panic attacks in years - almost 10 years. I have had times like this though, when I just feel shaky. I know that when I get depressed it shows up as anxiety. Or is it the other way round? I also know that the honeymoon period with Santiago might be ending, and the reality is sinking in, and hey ho, who woulnd't be anxious. But I don't like it.

Never mind - enough about that, Bill has built the boys a swingset, so we are having a party to celebrate it this weekend. That's a perfectly normal reaction to having a new swingset, isn't it? Having a party? Yes, I thought so.

Tell me you could have that in your garden and *not* have a party?

We had been looking and looking for swingsets, and had almost, but not quite convinced ourselves that we would just cough the $700.000 to buy a good one. But didn't. And then there was an email on the international assoc. list. A family who were leaving were selling off stuff, including a swingset kit that their landlords wouldn't let them put up (we haven't bothered asking!). They were asking $100US for it. We went to see, and in speaking to the woman learned that they had only been here 5 months, and her husband's job contract got cancelled. Back home they were going, they had expected to be here for three years. We didn't even try to haggle over the price, I just felt so awful for them.

And went home to be grateful again for fully funded telescopes and 3 year extendable contracts with international organisations.

Damn, I've depressed myself again. I need something cheerful...

There. That's better.
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
you know, if it comes back to bite me, i'm not scared. i just assume that they will keep giving me herceptin. maybe someday it would stop working, but until then, why worry?

today my dad's cousin and his wife, and their two friends came to visit. i know, how unexpected is that, for mum and dad to be here, when B and P had booked a cruise from valparaiso leaving on sunday, and 3 days in santiago preceding it. none of this was planned on purpose. it would be odd enough for them to have a holiday booked here while we are here, never mind fitting in with mum and dad!

anyway. G, one of their travellng companions, is very tired, and not feeling well, not eating well. and well, i know and recognise those signs. She has a cancer of the peritoneum. and has dealt with 7 years of chemo and other nonsense. she had a 1.5 year remission, which was when they booked this cruise. but it has come back to bite her.

anyway, the thing is, i've spent the last couple of week both talking, and just thinking about how much i miss my chats with my neighbours and fellow travellers. i know that G didn't have breast cancer, so it wasn't exactly the same as a chat with someone who did, but how is it, when I have been really feeling the need to talk to someone who just, well, *gets* it, that she should come along?

i am so much more lucky than she is. but today i met a fellow traveller. and that is important.

when i filled out my renewal form for the international association, they had a space for comments, so i suggested that they have an experience register. i'll put my name down, so that periodically i can have a whinge about cancer and chemo with someone. i need that. it's not a bad thing, and usually i end up laughing when i talk to someone else who has been there. but i need it. just once in a while.
thereyougothen: (chile)
They don't hold a grudge.

The thing about the driving here - it's not that bad. Or maybe it is, but I more or less learned to drive in Washington DC, which supposedly had the third worst traffic in the US, so maybe 20 year old experiences are coming to the fore. They even use their indicators (just not in the direction they are intending to go).

So. They like their horns here. If it takes you a split second to move off from a red light, they honk. But you know how when you *know* you've done something stupid (like when I wrong laned myself at two consecutive intersections on the way home the other day), and you get honked at? At home, you get honked at, your adrenalin goes through the roof, the other driver's does too, so when you catch up with them at the next light, they are practically climbing out their window and at the very least gesturing in extremely angry tones.

Here? No matter how many times they have leaned on their horn or for how long, by the time you catch them up, they are just going about their merry way. But I'm not. They have totally forgotten it happened. But I haven't. My blood pressure is still through the roof, and I'm expecting some serious road rage on their part. And it's not there.

It's really rather deflating, if the truth be told.
thereyougothen: (chile)
today started well, both boys were up before me, and the rest of the morning went well too. they went off to summer school leaving me & Milagros to get organised for today's bit of operation making new friends (well, one old friend of mine, and one old friend of Bill's came too, but let's not quibble).

I hosted a bookswap. I had asked the ESO (astro folk) spouses list, and a fair few people said it was a brilliant idea. I then had to admit it wasn't original! anyway, we even had one non astro-spouse - so operation making friends outside of work might be on its way as well...

I baked an apple cake last night, my first attempt at baking in this house, and it came out really well, I added dried mango instead of nuts, since I haven't got any of those yet.

stocking the store cupboard from scratch is fun, but sometimes I wish I didn't have to go out specially to get a specific thing that I would normally just have. and while i'm on the subject, we've been here over 2 months and today i finally found tins of chopped tomatoes. ok, i did see some that with additional herbs that cost about £1.50 ea. so we don't count those. Still, I paid $890 for a tin today, which is about 90p. 90p for a tin of chopped tomatoes.

and the cheese? we had the cheese conversation today - it's expensive, and the vast majority of it tastes like nothing. I think we'd been doing really well on our food miles, but when I finally found out about the "real" cheddar, I just bought it. even though it's $3450 for 250gm. And the person who told me about it said it was Argentinian. So that's ok. Except it's not - it's Australian. But you can't make macaroni cheese with anything else. So I'll keep buying it. Just not as often as I'm used to buying cheddar. Luckily the blandness of local cheese means that the boys actually like almost all of it, so that's a bonus I suppose.

Summer school seems to be going well. They come home and say they've had a good time. And they seem to be enjoying the bus.

anyway, the book swap - it went well, we drank coffee, ate cake (there was banana bread too, thanks to old friend Cathy), and swapped books.

and I have to admit that having Milagros around is nice. By the time i came back in from waving everyone off at the gate, she'd already tidied up all the mugs and cake crumbs and loaded it all in the dishwasher. Except for the cake plates, which were my gran's china, which she was washing by hand.

Have I raved about my ipod yet? Bill got it me for my birthday, and i'd been having lots of fun playing wiht it, but not really listening to music on it. but then i had a play with the Genius feature. I love it. i keep picking random songs just to see what happens. it's plugged into the internet radio/ipod dock i got Bill for *his* birthday. He unearthed his sub-woofer from the garage before we left edinburgh and hoked it up here last week. it makes the ipod sound as good as the CD. the curent list is based on Nellie Furtado's Forca, and now KT Tunstall has just been followed by Paolo Nutini.

The radio here might play lots of english langiage music, but it all seems to be from the 80's. I don't know how we're going to find new music here. If there's anything good new out there, make a point of telling me, please?
thereyougothen: (me & boys)

There's two awfully cute kids under here! )

Crossposted.  Apologies if you're bored with this now...

home alone

Dec. 16th, 2008 08:39 pm
thereyougothen: (chile)
I wish...

Well, not really.

I have seen Quirk. I don't know how much she has had to drink in the 36 hours or so she has been hiding, so I have put a bowl of water downstairs. I don't know why I bother when there are 2 lovely toilets for drinking out of down there, but hey ho.

Bill has gone off in a taxi. He'll be back, all being well, early on Monday morning. When the boys will be on Summer holidays. In fact, the boys will be on summer holidays from noon on Thursday (11.45 for Nico, actually).

And we got our bank account "products" today - for which read credit and debit cards (but there's no debit card for me yet!) and the loan to buy the car will be in the account on Thursday. So when Bill gets back on Monday, I will make him a cup of tea, and then we will head off to Automotriz Suiza and pick up our *gold* Outback. We didn't get to choose the colour - because we wanted a standard transmission, we had to take what there was, and there's only one available in Santiago, and it's gold. I am going to buy stencils and spraypaint and make it ours. This is not my original idea, I confess, I saw it on another blog where the author had bought a ubiquicar. Every third car in Santiago seems to be a Subaru Outback.

Did I mention that Bill has left in a taxi? I am feeling very sorry for myself. I was going to finish the better part of a bottle of very nice Carmenere, but Nico knocked it over, so there's less than half left. Which is good since I have to be up at 6... Only two more days of that though, hurrah! Until 16th February. 2 Months of holiday! Eek. and Yay!

So, the Nana. we decided we would try a live-in, at least until I finish the Herceptin treatments. She started yesterday. Milagros is the 19 year old daughter of my friend's live-in Nana. She's great - cleans her socks off, smiles all day, enjoys my attempts at spanish and tries out her english. She's going to be great for (and with) the boys. But I can't stand having someone living in my house. So I am going to ask my Spanish teacher who is coming tomorrow, and who already knows Milagros, to help me ask her if she would be willing to come daily instead. She would only work 5 days instead of 6 (the relocation agent looked at me like I had two heads when I said I would only ask her to work 5 days a week!) and I would pay her more, becasue she wouldn't be living in.

She's already happy becasue I've told her we only want her to stay Friday nights when Bill is away.

It's crazy. The norm for a live-in Nana is a 12 hour work day, 5 days a week, and if they are lucky, a half day on Saturday, but some Chilean families expect them to be "adentro" on Saturday night as well, so they can go "home" on Sunday morning and come back Sunday night, or MAYBE, Monday morning.

Milagros has been here two days and has worked much more than 8 hours. I told her I only wanted her to work 8 and no more, but she kept trying to do more. I sent her to her room at 8.30 because she was going to start putting another box load away.

So - I really don't want her to think that us (and it's not just me that wants the house to ourselves, I know Bill does, and I think the boys do too) wanting her to work "puerta afuera" is any reflection on her. I think she is great, and we are really lucky to have her. And I am lucky that my friend suggested she come work for us. But I want to have my house to myself. Only two days in and I know I have made a mistake asking for a live-in Nana...

Fingers crossed it all works out ok - we are currently in the mandatory two week trial period, where either of us can back out of the contract....

Quirk has come upstairs, possibly looking for company, so I'll stop whingeing and go sit on the sofa for a while.

Did I mention that I am missing Bill?
thereyougothen: (chile)
someone nearby (but they could live in any of about 6 streets, it's hard to tell the way the houses are laid out) started playing the radio at the most earsplitting volume imaginable at about 6.00PM. It's still playing as loud, though they seem to change the station sometimes. I guess they are having a party.

I struggle a lot with extraneous noise these days. both boys shouting at once turns me into a homicidal maniac. this tonight is enough to make me want to move out.

i want to cry. the noise is constant. it's driving me crazy.
thereyougothen: (chile)
i got an email telling me that the insurance company has agreed to pay my herceptin bills without me having to pay up front and claim it back, which is good, becasue I believe each treatment costs $4,000,000 (or £4,000). but I obviously still have to pay for the oncologist consultation. and i'm supposed to be able to log in and do that online.

but i can't figure it out.

and i *think* i will be due a herceptin treatment next thursday, which means I need to see the oncologist (their need, not mine) before the treatment. but i probably won't get an appointment if I don't pay my bill. but i can't pay my bill.


oh FFS

Nov. 20th, 2008 01:54 pm
thereyougothen: (chile)
guess who lost her wallet?

I had the day from hell yesterday, just awful. except I quite enjoyed the PTA meeting. But I left there at 9.20 and went to the supermercado. The boys really needed decent school bags, our stuff is still held up by a public sector strike, so at 9.45 I'm traipsing round a supermarket, exhausted, confused, and as it turns out - careless.

i manged to pay for my stuff, go and get $100,000 pesos cash out to pay the locksmith, then somewhere between there and here - I lost my wallet. which i didn't notice until this morning.

so - i've been back to the shop - no luck, checked with the men at the front desk here at the flat and to the police with Rebeca the relocator.

i've lost a credit card, a debit card, my chilean ID, my health insurance card, both my drivers' licenses, and about £120 in cash.


i've cancelled the cards, no one had used them. but getting my driver's license replaced won't be easy.

and i'm not sure if my new debit and credit cards will be safely forwarded here. and it will take a month anyway.

thank goodness for skype at least - cancelling the cards was easy.

must figure out how to get my drivers' license replaced now. at least it won't cost me money if someone uses that.

and i probably can't get a chilean one while the strike is on.

still, we have matresses and borrowed sheets and towels to sleep on now. tomorrow night, we sleep in the house. hurrah!
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
first herceptin here today.

the one thing that strikes me right away that is different? in Edinburgh, if it hurt me, they immediately stopped and found a different place to stab me. here? they keep going, even when i'm whimpering and crying from the pain. 3 stabs in total. at first they said they coulnd't use my right arm becasue it had the lymph nodes sampled, but they soon forgot that when it was obvious it was the only one that was going to work.

and these are nurses who have a reasonable grasp of English, so they knew i was in pain. they kept saying sorry, but kept going. it was awful.

i asked if i could put my hand in hot water, but i wasn't able to make myself understood.

i was given two different anti-sickness drugs by IV - I never had IV anti-sickness even for chemo, and none at all for herceptin. here though - herceptin *is* chemo. i didn't know how to refuse them, if they had been tablets i would have just said no, but it was an infusion, and it was on my prescription, and I imagine they would have had to call the doctor and get him to agree, and that wold have marked my card for sure ;)

i woulnd't be so worried, except that they can make you drowsy, and i have my children to collect. by car. i've had a coffee, and i'm ok. but still, why are they giving me drugs I don't need?

herceptin is chemo. heh. they don't use psychology on their cancer paitinets here then - at home, "you're all done with your chemo now! just the wonder drug herceptin to go!"

oh, and herceptin has to be kept in the fridge. here it must be as cold as you can get it without it freezing. my whole forearm is *still* aching from the cold.



Nov. 12th, 2008 09:29 pm
thereyougothen: (chile)
we, that's the royal we, of course. or in fact, it's probably the royal they, since it had nothing to do with me at all, will be signing the lease for the house we want on friday.

fingers still crossed, though.

now that we have our ID cards*, life will be a little easier, but i'm still just the spouse. i have no identity of my own. luckily i have met a husband in the same position, so it's not all about the patriarchy.

* i never expected to hear myself commenting favourably on ID cards!
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
this was a tough morning,  i wasn't allowed coffee. or food.

went to the hospital after dropping the boys off.  waited until they found an english speaking person to take us up to see the oncologist, then sat while he read my referral letter.  why didn't they give it to him beforehand?  i would have been happy to sit with my sock for ten minutes in the waiting room, instead of awkwardly on the other side of a desk.

anyway, he eamined me, which I should be used to by now.  weighed me. and he was the first doctor in all of this who told me to lose weight. in fact he said that while the herceptin was important, losing weight was even more so in stopping the cancer coming back. hmmm.

i admit that i have been surprised that no one ever said anything about it (well, no one expect my mum!).  but that was pretty blunt today.  he said, " it's spring, there is a lot of nice fruit in CHile that you can eat" LOL.

he took us in to see the chemo suite.  very posh comfy looking chairs. and very small, compared to what we are used to, unless there's more around the corner.  I have an appointment for 09.00 on thursday, which is exaclty 3 weeks snce my last treatment.

then we went back to the nice english speaking head nurse, who i am to contact for everything, from major illness to ingrown toenail.  we asked if we could have a pro-forma invoice so that we don't have to pay in advance, but she took us down to the finance place and they took a copy of my insurance card and said that they will get a reference number from the insurance people and will be able to bill direct.  I am VERY curious as to what it will cost.

and they never took blood or anything, so the starving was a total waste.  thanks people.  getting up at 6 is tough enough.

then we left, and Bill dropped me off at Beverly's house, where I was plied with coffee and cookies.  I was offered proper breakfast, but settled for cookies!  absolutely fascinating conversation centering around teachig reading to kids.  we were all mothers, 3 of us with 2 sons, one with a 9 month old daughter.  2 educators - one a long time teacher of reception class in the english system, the other a remedial reading (possibly not the modernly accepted term, I must ask her) teacher in US middle school.  AND - Beverly loaned me a set of Biff, Chip and Kipper books for N.  He won't get them here, and we LOVE the magic key stories, so we will read them with him.  And with TT, who wanted to sleep with 2 of them under his pillow tonight.

we have finally found fresh milk after almost two weeks of UHT. it's "ultrapasteurised", so Bill says it still doesn't taste as good as at home, but when i suggested I wouldn't bother buying it again, it suddenly was almost as good...

Bill signed (i am a non-person) a letter of intent to rent a house today,  hopefully the landlord will agree, and then we all traipse off to a notary public to sign the actual lease  (well, for Bill to sign, I just get to watch).  we might get to move in a week today!  hurrah!

and I have to get up at 6, so I have to go to bed now.  06.00 is murder.  
thereyougothen: (chile)
I can't get into blogger, so I'll post here for now. Quirk is here, fast asleep beside me on the sofa. Collecting her form the airport was a bit traumatic, and took far longer than it should have - we were meeting someone who spoke no english. we got her in the end, and I burst into tears. I think the guy thought there was something wrong with me.

so relieved to see her, and so happy to have my cat. N especially is thrilled, he hasn't been able to to keep hs hands off her, and amazingly, she has put up with all his attention. She must have missed her people. TT is happy to see her too, and she has also allowed him to stroke her, which is very unusual.

we are a happy family.
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
the oncologist called today. to let me know that he's written my referral for the chilean hospital. "it's got a few hand written corrections, but if it doesn't make sense I'm sure you can sort them out" eh? WTF? his secretary can't audio type, or he changed his mind after he wrote it? or maybe just afterthoughts. I will find out since he's sending me a copy...

he also thought he'd better check that i understood just how expensive herceptin is. like £15,000 to £20,000 for the rest of my treatments. i said that Bill had asked the insurance company, and that they had said that as long as it is an infusion, it is covered 100% (imagine having to pay a co-pay of 20% of £20,000?!!) he was relieved that we had looked into that already. imagine arriving there and finding out out that we can't afford my treatments!

well, in some countries, i'd have only had 6 anyway, so i've already had 7. but i'm due 17. i'm sure the chilean doctors will be happy to give me 17, if the insurance company will pay for it.

hmmm, thank goodness for the firefox spellcheck, because i've obviously had that number of glasses of wine that causes my fingers to not do what i want...

off to bed with me. i was too tired to walk to school this afternoon. i left the house at 2.30, walked about 50 metres and realised that i wasn't going to make it.

Bill is away. i am single parenting for a few days. i think that the tiredness may get worse...
thereyougothen: (chile)
OK, now that I've got myself in gear and set it up its very own blog, no more xx sleeps posts here - they're all at [ profile] bopeepsheep very helpfully set up [ profile] lasbolladuras or you can syndicate it directly from blogger.

this LJ will go back to whinging about stuff post haste
thereyougothen: (scary stuff)
saw the breast surgeon today. turns out I didn't really need to go since the oncologist had done a physical exam and given me the results of the mammogram. and the breast clinic won't be sending a referral to Chile, the one from the oncologist is all that's required.

however, seeing as I was there, he examined me anyway. and to be frank, the oncologist isn't an expert on reconstructed breasts, so it doesn't hurt to get the breast surgeon's opinion. which was that it is a very good job. a very good job indeed.

and I have to say I agree, especially when it's in a well fitting bra. (I've just ordered 2 swimsuit patterns, we'll see how it looks in one of those)

So, except for probably 2 more herceptin treatments (unless my 51% is too low) I'm free and clear to go.

even though I knew that the mammogram was fine, I was still shaking in the waiting room. and you always have to wait ages in the breast clinic. but it's done. so we went for a cup of tea and slice of cake before retrieving the boys.

so, it's a whole year until I need to worry about it again. ok, so there's still another 11 herceptins and 4.5 years of tamoxifen, but we won't think about that. no more follow ups. (oh, unless the chilean hospital decides to do their own. damn. there goes my bubble.)

and there's a bottle of fizz in the fridge. hard to believe it's been a whole year, eh?

34 sleeps

Sep. 23rd, 2008 09:25 pm
thereyougothen: (chile)
what did we accomplish today toward moving? I'm not sure there was anything. oh, yes, we freecycled my old breastpump and all its bottles and attachments. but even so, it wasn't very big. the recipients very kindly gave us a tin of low caffeine but still proper espresso coffee. that was lovely. we shall try it when the current packet runs out.

was there anything else?

i had my last parent council meeting at preston street. i was very sad, and i burst into tears when they gave me a very (very) big bunch of flowers. there is a photo, i will upload tomorrow.

have been a bit down since this afternoon - had my heart scan, and i'm down to 51%. i was 53, 53, 55 (remember my jubilant posting?) and now down to 51%. Herceptin is "cardiotoxic" so I suppose it's not surprising. the radiographer asked me if I'm tired. um, yes. and I'd been wondering why. all the nurses keep saying "no matter what the side effects are supposed to be, I think herceptin makes you tired" well, yes, especially if it affects heart function, and if your heart isn't working as well as it used to, you might get tired. I guess that's a no-brainer.

well, I will probably have to have another of these before the Chileans will give me any drugs. and the Chileans won't have Winton, who is the "superintendant radiographer", all round nice guy, and super talented at finding difficult veins. I think he would be willing to travel, but I doubt the insurance company would cover it.

we have had an unbelievably expensive quote from an agency for shipping Quirk to Santiago. so maybe we'll be doing it all ourselves after all. unless anyone I know wants to go into the pet export business??

tomorrow the school is closed because of the unison strike., i think we are gong shoe shopping, sadly not for me, though...


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