thereyougothen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thereyougothen) wrote2007-09-17 09:10 pm
thereyougothen) wrote2007-09-17 09:10 pm
Entry tags:
home again
we are home from a much needed holiday weekend. we stayed in a very nice two bedroomed cottage with the best equipped holiday cottage kitchen evah! in fordyce.
it rained all weekend, and having kids meant that we couldn't just light the (electric) fire and sit around and drink gin and read books all weekend.
we managed a visit to findhorn where i had been 15 years ago on my last whistle stop tour of aberdeenshire. all we did was empty our wallets in the shop, but that's no bad thing. £1.50 for a bag of wonderful organic salad leaves. it was too much for two of us, was probably enough for at least 2 meals, and £1.50. oh and played in the playground. and i did some crocheting in public while the playgrounding was going on.
we went to fraserburgh and had an appalling lunch in a seaside cafe, and then went to the lighthouse museum.. only later realising that we might have saved £12 if we'd shown our historic scotland membership cards. the museum belongs to the northern lighthouse board, but the lighthouse itself to historic scotland. and it had a cafe that did sunday lunches...
yesterday we saw mad surfers and slightly less mad kayakers at sandend beach, the nearest to fordyce.
we bought local fish, some local sausages, but i didn't manage a bowl of cullen skink, despite being less than 10 miles from Cullen. i managed to cook two really nice meals in the fabulous kitchen though. which kind of made up for the first night, when after the boys had had their asda mac and cheese, i went to take the "asda extra special" chicken in tarragon and wild mushroom sauce out of the oven and the plastic cook-in tray buckled and it all went all over the floor. Bill and i ended up having dauphinoise potatoes, cauliflower cheese, minted petit pois, and a rasher of bacon. which was actually quite nice, but not what i was aiming for! however, saturday night's roast turbot from a village up the road was superb. i'm still kicking myself for not buying the finnan haddie from the same fishmonger though, we could have learned to make our own cullen skink.
on the way home today we stopped for sticky buns at the house of bruar. while i was browsing in the men's country wear section in the hopes of inspiration for father in law's 80th birthday i had the most surreal telephone conversation of my life.
it was from one of the breast cancer nurses at the western general. they had been trying to make contact since last week, since it seems they had wanted to catch me at my appt last tuesday but Bill and i did a runner as soon as we could. so we talked about whether i wanted to meet someone else who had been through what i am going through, and whether i was happy with what the surgeon had told me, and how i was coping, etc etc while i was surrounded by tweed, flat caps and shooting sticks. Bill later said I should have told her where i was, but there didn't seem to be the opportunity. Luckily at that time, Bill and the boys had gone for a walk up to the Falls to leave me to shop in peace so I dind't have the boys nipping my head the whole time.
i have decided that i *would* like to meet someone who has been through it, so they will try and find someone near my age, but i don't want to do that until after the surgery. i'm still feeling that i only want to know the minimum i need to right now. details aren't important. getting past the surgery, which is necessary, and getting rid of the parts that will damage me if they are left, and hopefully getting the reconstruction done is the important part. once i am past that, finding out about the healing, and the future state of the Alison will matter. right now i have to keep myself and my family together until the 11th of october, what comes after comes after.
i have to go into hospital on the 10th. they said i can turn up at about 7pm. i think that will be the worst night of my life. i wonder how long Bill will be able to stay? and i think the surgery is scheduled for early the next day, so Bill may not be able to get out to see me in the morning. i am dreading it. i am so scared.
the nurse i spoke to today said it was great that i was admitting i was scared. she said most people don't and that it's normal and people shouldn't be afraid to admit it. why the hell wouldn't you? no one in their right mind could face something like this without fear.
i am now officially babbling. i am going to go and finish my knitting swatch so i can wash it and maybe take it to knitting on wednesday, when i hope someone will be able to help me work out how to increase and decrease in lace. i really do hope thatcherade9 has told people, so i don't have to do it myself.
there are still so many people who need to be told. it's horrible telling people, and it's very selfish to ask my friends to do it for me.
when you see me, just give me a hug. you can ask, and if i'm needing to talk about it, i will. if not, i'll say so. currently amazon jokes and taking the piss are very welcome indeed. and then give me another hug. i need a lot of them right now, and may not be able to have any for 2 months after the surgery.
it rained all weekend, and having kids meant that we couldn't just light the (electric) fire and sit around and drink gin and read books all weekend.
we managed a visit to findhorn where i had been 15 years ago on my last whistle stop tour of aberdeenshire. all we did was empty our wallets in the shop, but that's no bad thing. £1.50 for a bag of wonderful organic salad leaves. it was too much for two of us, was probably enough for at least 2 meals, and £1.50. oh and played in the playground. and i did some crocheting in public while the playgrounding was going on.
we went to fraserburgh and had an appalling lunch in a seaside cafe, and then went to the lighthouse museum.. only later realising that we might have saved £12 if we'd shown our historic scotland membership cards. the museum belongs to the northern lighthouse board, but the lighthouse itself to historic scotland. and it had a cafe that did sunday lunches...
yesterday we saw mad surfers and slightly less mad kayakers at sandend beach, the nearest to fordyce.
we bought local fish, some local sausages, but i didn't manage a bowl of cullen skink, despite being less than 10 miles from Cullen. i managed to cook two really nice meals in the fabulous kitchen though. which kind of made up for the first night, when after the boys had had their asda mac and cheese, i went to take the "asda extra special" chicken in tarragon and wild mushroom sauce out of the oven and the plastic cook-in tray buckled and it all went all over the floor. Bill and i ended up having dauphinoise potatoes, cauliflower cheese, minted petit pois, and a rasher of bacon. which was actually quite nice, but not what i was aiming for! however, saturday night's roast turbot from a village up the road was superb. i'm still kicking myself for not buying the finnan haddie from the same fishmonger though, we could have learned to make our own cullen skink.
on the way home today we stopped for sticky buns at the house of bruar. while i was browsing in the men's country wear section in the hopes of inspiration for father in law's 80th birthday i had the most surreal telephone conversation of my life.
it was from one of the breast cancer nurses at the western general. they had been trying to make contact since last week, since it seems they had wanted to catch me at my appt last tuesday but Bill and i did a runner as soon as we could. so we talked about whether i wanted to meet someone else who had been through what i am going through, and whether i was happy with what the surgeon had told me, and how i was coping, etc etc while i was surrounded by tweed, flat caps and shooting sticks. Bill later said I should have told her where i was, but there didn't seem to be the opportunity. Luckily at that time, Bill and the boys had gone for a walk up to the Falls to leave me to shop in peace so I dind't have the boys nipping my head the whole time.
i have decided that i *would* like to meet someone who has been through it, so they will try and find someone near my age, but i don't want to do that until after the surgery. i'm still feeling that i only want to know the minimum i need to right now. details aren't important. getting past the surgery, which is necessary, and getting rid of the parts that will damage me if they are left, and hopefully getting the reconstruction done is the important part. once i am past that, finding out about the healing, and the future state of the Alison will matter. right now i have to keep myself and my family together until the 11th of october, what comes after comes after.
i have to go into hospital on the 10th. they said i can turn up at about 7pm. i think that will be the worst night of my life. i wonder how long Bill will be able to stay? and i think the surgery is scheduled for early the next day, so Bill may not be able to get out to see me in the morning. i am dreading it. i am so scared.
the nurse i spoke to today said it was great that i was admitting i was scared. she said most people don't and that it's normal and people shouldn't be afraid to admit it. why the hell wouldn't you? no one in their right mind could face something like this without fear.
i am now officially babbling. i am going to go and finish my knitting swatch so i can wash it and maybe take it to knitting on wednesday, when i hope someone will be able to help me work out how to increase and decrease in lace. i really do hope that
cherade9 has told people, so i don't have to do it myself.there are still so many people who need to be told. it's horrible telling people, and it's very selfish to ask my friends to do it for me.
when you see me, just give me a hug. you can ask, and if i'm needing to talk about it, i will. if not, i'll say so. currently amazon jokes and taking the piss are very welcome indeed. and then give me another hug. i need a lot of them right now, and may not be able to have any for 2 months after the surgery.
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