thereyougothen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thereyougothen) wrote2009-03-27 08:07 am
thereyougothen) wrote2009-03-27 08:07 am
Entry tags:
at least it's almost over
It was a nightmare of an appointment. just a nightmare. Luckily Bill was with me. Noreen would have gone if he couldn't, so I wouldn't have been alone.
I had to wait 20 minutes to see Dr Gallardo which is unusual since i always have the first appt of the day. It seems there was a newspaper article about him that day, so that seemed to be his excuse. I forgot to get a copy of the article, so I don't know what it said, even if I *could* decipher it.
Got through that, and then went to the chemo suite. They weren't expecting me. This was the same last time, and it was an awful appt then too. I don't know what is going on. Anyway, after waiting probably 15 minutes I was invited to go and soak my hands. I have to do it under running water, so it is difficult to keep the temperature hot enough to actually do the trick. when i looked nice and red I went in, but of course i sat there for a few minutes waiting for them to get their shit together, and everything cooled down. Useless nurse had a go. I admit that my veins were useless, totally useless this week, I had drunk water, but hadn't eaten anything, so maybe it's my own fault, but this nurse can't cannulate. she just can't. she went for the same vein as last time, but it wasn't playing, and she was prodding around in there with the needle and suddenly i got an incredibly painful jolt. so I yelled. so she got angry. i assume with herself more than me, but it's me she's barking at. (Bill told me later that I yelped just as one of the doctors walked into the room, so that won't have helped)
Other nurse came and had a look, then I was sent off to soak my hand again. and again they gave me timer to cool off before trying again with cold hands. nurse number two had a go on the back of my hand, which is less painful than the side of my wrist, but it still wouldn't work. and that's with twoof them wiggling the needle around trying to get it right.
I went off to soak my hands again. or no, that's wrong, i was given a heating pad. so they went away for five minutes while I heated up that way. except i had to go to the loo, because i'd drunk too much water.
so, hands warmed up, and nurse number three comes. she looks at both hands, and inside my elbows, and the inside of my wrists (which I absolutely will not allow them to even contemplate becasue it is agonisingly painful). eventually she settled on the left wrist, on the thumb side. but nurse number two is the one who sticks me. It hurt. it hurt like hell. I was crying with the pain, one nurse was hugging me, Bill was trying to hold my other hand, and eventually it was in the vein.
I think we all knew that I was going to walk out if they didn't get it in. So I ha to suffer through it. I don't know where the nurse is who did my three previous appointments, she's great, she gets the needle in mostly first time, maybe second, but she *doesn't hurt me* when she tries. I changed my appt to Wednesday this time, becasue I thought maybe she didn't work on Thursdays, and that's why I got useless nurse last time, but she wasn't there this time either. Maybe she's left? That would be awful. I can't remember her name, which makes me feel terrible. In fact the only one whose name i know is nurse number two, who is Marcela, and that's only because she wears her id badge where I can see it. Nurse number one's is on backwards, and while I saw nurse number three's on her coat, I have forgotten it again.
they still think I should have a port. I think they should learn to cannulate. I only have two more left.
hopefully. I still have to face the catscan after the last herceptin. I still don't know how i feel about that. I wasn't going to have one in Edinburgh. The assumption being that there's no need, my risk is so low. But here they do it at the end of your treatment, and I suppose I should be glad, it should be reassuring, right? But of course all I can think about is "what if it finds something?!" Because if it does, the worst part is that it means more and more and more herceptin probably. Aargh. But it won't find anything, because it won't.
Bloody nurses. making my life a misery. I need to let Shona and Joy know just how good they are. They managed even with my chemo raddled veins. These nurses here? Pants.
I had to wait 20 minutes to see Dr Gallardo which is unusual since i always have the first appt of the day. It seems there was a newspaper article about him that day, so that seemed to be his excuse. I forgot to get a copy of the article, so I don't know what it said, even if I *could* decipher it.
Got through that, and then went to the chemo suite. They weren't expecting me. This was the same last time, and it was an awful appt then too. I don't know what is going on. Anyway, after waiting probably 15 minutes I was invited to go and soak my hands. I have to do it under running water, so it is difficult to keep the temperature hot enough to actually do the trick. when i looked nice and red I went in, but of course i sat there for a few minutes waiting for them to get their shit together, and everything cooled down. Useless nurse had a go. I admit that my veins were useless, totally useless this week, I had drunk water, but hadn't eaten anything, so maybe it's my own fault, but this nurse can't cannulate. she just can't. she went for the same vein as last time, but it wasn't playing, and she was prodding around in there with the needle and suddenly i got an incredibly painful jolt. so I yelled. so she got angry. i assume with herself more than me, but it's me she's barking at. (Bill told me later that I yelped just as one of the doctors walked into the room, so that won't have helped)
Other nurse came and had a look, then I was sent off to soak my hand again. and again they gave me timer to cool off before trying again with cold hands. nurse number two had a go on the back of my hand, which is less painful than the side of my wrist, but it still wouldn't work. and that's with twoof them wiggling the needle around trying to get it right.
I went off to soak my hands again. or no, that's wrong, i was given a heating pad. so they went away for five minutes while I heated up that way. except i had to go to the loo, because i'd drunk too much water.
so, hands warmed up, and nurse number three comes. she looks at both hands, and inside my elbows, and the inside of my wrists (which I absolutely will not allow them to even contemplate becasue it is agonisingly painful). eventually she settled on the left wrist, on the thumb side. but nurse number two is the one who sticks me. It hurt. it hurt like hell. I was crying with the pain, one nurse was hugging me, Bill was trying to hold my other hand, and eventually it was in the vein.
I think we all knew that I was going to walk out if they didn't get it in. So I ha to suffer through it. I don't know where the nurse is who did my three previous appointments, she's great, she gets the needle in mostly first time, maybe second, but she *doesn't hurt me* when she tries. I changed my appt to Wednesday this time, becasue I thought maybe she didn't work on Thursdays, and that's why I got useless nurse last time, but she wasn't there this time either. Maybe she's left? That would be awful. I can't remember her name, which makes me feel terrible. In fact the only one whose name i know is nurse number two, who is Marcela, and that's only because she wears her id badge where I can see it. Nurse number one's is on backwards, and while I saw nurse number three's on her coat, I have forgotten it again.
they still think I should have a port. I think they should learn to cannulate. I only have two more left.
hopefully. I still have to face the catscan after the last herceptin. I still don't know how i feel about that. I wasn't going to have one in Edinburgh. The assumption being that there's no need, my risk is so low. But here they do it at the end of your treatment, and I suppose I should be glad, it should be reassuring, right? But of course all I can think about is "what if it finds something?!" Because if it does, the worst part is that it means more and more and more herceptin probably. Aargh. But it won't find anything, because it won't.
Bloody nurses. making my life a misery. I need to let Shona and Joy know just how good they are. They managed even with my chemo raddled veins. These nurses here? Pants.
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