thereyougothen

isn't that great? i actually have enough hair to be having a bad hair day. it's sticking out behind my ears and looking really rather silly though.

in other news, i am reading a book. a real honest to god novel for the first time in months and i can actually remember what i read before i went to sleep last night.

maybe i shold dig out the couple of trashy spanish romances that a friend gave me when i last tried to learn spanish. i wonder if I still have them? i think the ambivalence is gone again.

in other other news, i bought some silicone cupcake cups. they look great in bright colours, but they are a bugger to clean. whether b hand or in the dishmasher. maybe paper cupcake cups aren't such a bad thing after all. i think i will make the boys some jello in the silicone ones, or something.

so on Wednesday i had my second herceptin. other than the fact that it took 3 needles and 2 nurses, it was ok. it should be my last hospital based treatment. the rest should be at home. or at least the rest of the ones I havde in *this* country. somehow I don't think I'll get it at home if we're in Chile.

i needed to be out by 12.45 to collect N and take him to PReston Street for his P1 indoctrination, and I made it, I was set free just at 12.45. funny that.

it was really quiet, so I nabbed the window seat, seeing as I was on my own, Bill and I had decided that he should save his time off for the school visit.

a woman who looked a bit familiar came in with her husband, plus another woman with a friend. anyway, there were just the three of us in the bay, and we got to chatting.

it was woman number 2's last chemo, and I said it was my last visit as well. I don't know what she was being treated for, but she was going to be there for 5 hours. her friend held her hand as the needle was put in, i know how that feels.

woman number 1, well, she was very pretty, perfect hair (a wig? I have no idea) and makeup, nice clothes, I wish I could do that. but. she said she had secondary breast cancer, and was having an extra 3 chemo sessions, on top of i don't know how many original ones, becasue the chemo was working really well for her.. i don't know how long it was since she had her first cancer, but she is ONLY 36! and she's got secondary breast cancer.

they give you numbers, when you're diagnosed, your percentage chance of it coming back. i've posted my numbers before. they sound really good. have the whole darn shootin' match, and i'm looking at 95-98% that it won't come back and bite me again.

Well. the woman I met on Wednesday had been given pretty good numbers too. 93%.

So I'm having a bit of a freakout to myself.

and i'm still so bloody tired. why is that?

the nice people at Ward 1 at the Western have rescheduled my first Herceptin appt for a week later and at 9.30. So Bill will be home, and we will be able to drop the boys off at school first.

and i forgot to mention that my parents were able to see my new hair via webcam tonight. i love technology!

all done. 8 chemo treatments, and here i am, alive and kicking. well, almost.

we went for a celebratory lunch, i even had a glass of wine. i am now exhausted and will spend the rest of the afternoon in my bed.

but - yay! chemo, done and dusted. go me!

just the herceptin to go...

the usual update will be along after i've had a nap. or tomorrow. or sometime in the next few days.

I finally kept the pretend hair on for long enough for photos to be taken.

well, i guess it had to happen eventually. i picked up N's tummy bug. I went to bed at 8.30 on saturday night and had to get up 3 times that night. then all seemed to be ok except for being too tired to get out of bed all day sunday. i eventually got up at about 2 o'clock yesterday (monday) afternoon, for maybe 2 hours tops. i had something other than toast to eat. big mistake, as i found out when I got hit with it again at 8 o'clock at night. and 3 or 4 times in the night again.

so we phoned the western this morning, and they told me to go to the GP to get my bloods checked and to get some nice antispasmodic drugs to make the tummy cramps go away. interestingly when we got to the GP's, the western had already been on the phone to them. if i hadn't called, they would have chased me up. so, we're waiting for the blood test results - if my white count is low, i have antibiotics to take.

i'm pretty dehydrated, so i keep trying to drink, but even that takes energy i don't really have. this ain't a lot of fun, you know?

at least i'm not puking as well.

my mum is still here, but barbara comes back today, so mum is going to stay with her friends for tonight and tomorrow. we were supposed to be going out tomorrow, just the two of us to do fun stuff like a bit of shopping and lunch, but i guess that's out of the question now.

Bill has taken today off work, he's at the library with the boys just now, and mum and i are each sat at our respective computers....

i am so very very tired. i wonder if i can still knit?

god how i hate every third wednesday. i'm sat here drinking as much water and orange juice as i cn force down, in the hope that being well hydrated will mean nice easy veins. or even vein, we only need one. i have my lorazepam to take just as we leave the house.

mum will stay with me and bill will take the boys off to play for a couple of hours then come back and get us. we might go out to lunch after, since I am always very hungry after the large steroid dose.

blah. looking forward to the end of this.

don't anyone remind me that the herceptin means a needle every three weeks too. i'd like to forget about that for a little longer.

i'm on to the gusset increases on the toe up sock now, so there's something interesting to do while i wait.

went to knitting today. it was nice. i went hatless. i think i may have tried to pretend that it wasn't a very big deal. but actually it was. that's the first time i've been out in public without a hat since i think mid-december.

i have made much progress on TT's 2nd sock. i'm 25 rows from the toe shaping. he'll be very pleased to have them finished.

the boys are beside themselves with excitement about my mum coming. i don't remember ever being so excited about seeing my grandparents. i must make sure my mum realises how much her grandsons appreciate her!

i started a shopping bag, finally using up what's left of what I will now know as my suffragist kitchen cotton, thanks to hfnuala  . Green, white & violet (plus a couple other colours that don't matter for the purposes of this exercise).

worked out which stitch patterns to use if I want to make the top in the bergere de france ad in Let's KNit. i tried to find a pattern, but couldn't, and from what i can see, even if there is a pattern, it will only be in french, so i'll probably manage to do it just as "easily" on my own. if i'm lucky, the very nice Sirdar Luxury Soft Cotton 4 Ply from Wye Sue's destash that eastofedin  brought me back from skipnorth will do the trick for this pattern. if i can find a picture online, i'll link to it.

now that thanks to Stephanie Pearl-McPhee I know about the Terrible (in a good way) Knitters of Dent I can imagine looking upon my married name in a better light.

what else?

my mum arrives tuesday. Barbara goes home for a two week holiday the same day.

i didn't start swatching for TT's next pullover.

i have three baby projects to do. i have no idea what. one is for a friend having another baby. the other two are for teachers, each of the boys has a pregnant teacher. each of the boys assumes that i will make something for the baby. how could I not, in the circumstances?

cardigans? blankets? should i attempt my first knitted toy?

too tired to think further about it now. good night.