thereyougothen

I'm not really sure why, but I'm really struggling with anxiety right now. It takes very little to set me off, in fact, it can take nothing. We were getting ready to go out at the weekend to the park, and had to wait until I'd stopped panicking. Nothing major, just a few minutes of anxiety, but when it starts to happen every few days it worries me. I haven't had full blown panic attacks in years - almost 10 years. I have had times like this though, when I just feel shaky. I know that when I get depressed it shows up as anxiety. Or is it the other way round? I also know that the honeymoon period with Santiago might be ending, and the reality is sinking in, and hey ho, who woulnd't be anxious. But I don't like it.

Never mind - enough about that, Bill has built the boys a swingset, so we are having a party to celebrate it this weekend. That's a perfectly normal reaction to having a new swingset, isn't it? Having a party? Yes, I thought so.

Tell me you could have that in your garden and *not* have a party?

We had been looking and looking for swingsets, and had almost, but not quite convinced ourselves that we would just cough the $700.000 to buy a good one. But didn't. And then there was an email on the international assoc. list. A family who were leaving were selling off stuff, including a swingset kit that their landlords wouldn't let them put up (we haven't bothered asking!). They were asking $100US for it. We went to see, and in speaking to the woman learned that they had only been here 5 months, and her husband's job contract got cancelled. Back home they were going, they had expected to be here for three years. We didn't even try to haggle over the price, I just felt so awful for them.

And went home to be grateful again for fully funded telescopes and 3 year extendable contracts with international organisations.

Damn, I've depressed myself again. I need something cheerful...